words of courage

i have been going to every blog and going straight down to the bottom to find your name

i'm sure your words are beautiful

but i just want to connect your words to the meaning of which you tell them

i want to know your heart breaks then your words of courage

so here is my back story 

i like to run then walk the same trail because i don't want to miss anything 

eating is a passion 

i have watched every episode of I love Lucy twice 

I like my Friday naps

and my family is the loudest of them all

Alta June can make me cry 

i was the shy girl with pig tails

i am in love with Sherlock 

i rather sleep in the morning than at night

my hair is curly and i love it

my face can tell you all my darkest secrets

i laugh too loudly but i believe everyone deserves to feel funny 

football games and fries will always be a good combo

i like easily and love slowly

i read one of my blog posts in class and no one noticed

i believe that everyone should drive up the canyon by themselves at least once

i will share my opinion only if i feel it's logical 

i tried to be hipster for one year and it's too hard

long showers are why i'm always late

movie nights on the coach is what i learned from my dad

how to say i'm sorry is what i learned from my mother

i believe every man should own a black tie 

and every women should own a pair of nude heels 

Nelson has taught me to be honest with myself 

I am Heather Peterson 

love will....

love will own a pair of oxfords 

love will talk to people with a grace that has never be seen before

love will give his mother a kiss on the cheek before he leaves

love will always love god

love will hold me for a little longer just because he wants to

love will give me a reason to talk a little faster

love will spin me around the dance floor

love will give me a reason to change 

love will give kisses on the forehead

love will laugh harder than is needed

love will speak kindness

love will talk to my Dad about politics

love will eat as much as i do

love will hold my hand in public

love will tell the world that he loves me

love will own a skinny tie

love will now how to wear a suit 

love will be good

love will let me be right 

love will let me be wrong

love will never yell at children 

love will dress to the nines

love will remind me of my brother 

love will give me a chance to be better than what i see 

not silence

i hear noise 

often i might hear words come for your mouth 

but only the feeling that you feel, is the feeling that will stay with me

why must you talk so loudly

why must you talk so loudly 

why must you talk so loudly

I must write because you will never listen 

talking is your strength i know

i know

i know 

i know 

i already know the words you will speak from your mouth

sweetheart i can finish your sentences because i have already heard them before

why must you repeat yourself

why must you repeat yourself 

why must you repeat yourself

the world will tell you the views of millions but never truth

what is truth 

dang it, i want the truth 

not your advise 

not your opinion

not how you did it

but i guess i don't want that either

just shut up and listen to me

i have listened to you for 18 years

so SHUT UP and LISTEN TO ME
you are horrible at listening

listen to me 

listen to me

listen to me

do not sit and node like a plastic doll

look at me in the eyes 

why must i ask you to look at me in the eyes

"don't you worry, i'm listening"

LIES
listen to my heart

listen to my blood that is rushing through my veins

listen to my cries to god that you will never hear

he listens to me, why can't you listen to me for second

listen 

listen 

listen

listen to my breath as i am running through the trees

listen to my heart as it pounds on the keys 

listen to the laughter that you have grown silent to

silent

i don't want silences

i want listening hears 

i want listening heart

i want a understanding of my words  

time

this isn't me missing you
this is me missing the me i used to be
you taught me how to be alone
and i learned my lesson in your absences
i read what you leave in public spaces
the songs you reference
the quotes you quote
i can feel you thinking about me

give me sun

i fear you the most

i fear you the most because it has already been done before

i never thought you could hold a whole soul in your hands, but you can

in the veins are the secrets that will run through, but will never leave

the brachial artery screaming please don't hurt me

or maybe it’s the fact that I was too shy to think I could have more

or maybe I was too innocent to think that people could have bad intentions

or maybe it’s the fact that I’m to scared to think that maybe one day you will see me the way I see myself 

or maybe I'm being too irrational 

to think that someone could hold your soul in there hand

maybe it's just your heart but at times it feels that there is more to it

so my dearest darling let me just say I love you first, just this once

and maybe, just maybe you can hold my soul in your hands for a little while 

with a smile

you are the sleepless night

the drip of the sink

silent as the minutes under water

the flashing lights at disco night

the second looks, of what are you thinking

is it me?

no

probably the game you had last week

it's always that 

you are the walks to door

the reason for talking to myself 

the extra shade of lip gloss

the pounding of the heart

what are you thinking?

i know i talk too much

too much of silence gets uncomfortable 

you are the reason to over think

never bad or good

the i hate you, with a smile 

the never final agreement

you are every color in-between

but never the color itself

you are normal with the abnormal

you are the reason for lost words

but i've always been good with words

just not with you

so dang it, i can't say it without crying

so i will say i hate you, with a smile instead